a good day

Here’s how I know today is a good day:

  • enough sleep (woke before the alarm)
  • weather is sunny and warm
  • i literally forced myself to go for a run, like bending your fingernails backwards FORCED — and thankfully felt great afterwards
  • had a shower in the dark (i really love this!)
  • one perfect steaming cup of coffee. OK, let’s get this recorded. I am addicted to caffeine.  That day without tea/coffee was shitty-ola.  This day, by comparison, with coffee: it’s like the light is a bit brighter, the air a bit sweeter, the room a bit cozier. It’s like the imaginary hit from booze that never really happens. Yes, that buzz really is in coffee! One cup of coffee per day. Makes all the difference.
  • the discovery that it’s probably tonic water irritating my heart thing, since the timing is nearly perfect with increased tonic water consumption and rise in symptoms. and it’s much easier to give up tonic water than coffee/tea! Amen!
  • four new requests from clients for my passion job #3 thingy, and then we’re away for another long weekend.
  • i love vacations. I need more of them. I say this all the time. One long weekend a month! October’s is coming in 4 days!

And i went to the get supplies this morning, and went to a store far away that i’ve been putting off for (i don’t know) 5 weeks.  then, just like that, it’s done and i can cross it off my list.  All is well in this part of my world.

And I do adore the fact that — after my near-miss drinking feelings on Saturday — once i got through it and went to bed, it’s like it never happened and the days after are ‘normal’.   Once i’ve kicked the wolf in the face, and once i go to bed, the next day it’s like it never happened and i’m back in my sober car again just tooling along, busy, happy, productive. And now that i have my tea back, all is well.  What a stupid idea giving up caffeine.  What was i thinking…

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I’m tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

8 thoughts to “a good day”

  1. I tried giving up coffee a while back and what a disaster THAT was lol. I do one cup a day and maybe a little more if I don’t have to be at work the next day. I’m super sensitive to it and it will keep me up past midnight if I drink it after 3:00 PM.

    1. i’m also super sensitive and can only have one cup, and i never drink caffeinated soda … but i do love my tea (no milk, no sugar, just lots of it). i don’t think i’ll be giving up caffeine again any time soon…

  2. Hope the no tonic water works and you start to feel better.

    I LOVE showers in the dark!

    Congrats on the four new clients!! Sounds like “passion job #3 thingy” is really taking off. How wonderful and exciting!

    Don’t you just love “normal”?

    1. missy, i now have 6 orders for passion job #3 thingy … good god, this might become my real life! Imagine if my passion becomes my real job, not just my #3 job! this would never have happened if i wasn’t sober. i may have to blog about this … or at least *alert the media* …

  3. Just found you. “Showers in the dark.” I absolutely love this. This is going to be the new thing I try today. I used to only take them in the dark when I was crying. Never thought to enjoy them un-crying. AND more friends in the never- giving-up-caffeine-(until-I-do)-club

  4. “kicked the wolf in the face” — I am LOLing! Good stuff. One thing about cravings is, they SO go away. Like, a craving is almost like a drug — it comes in, passes through your bloodstream, then leaves. Done, gone. Good JOB on all you’re accomplishing — sounds amazing times for you. Also, heart heart heart coffee, but I had to give it up years ago. I don’t recall having that religious of an experience on it, but hey, good for you! (I’m just jealous…) Now, go and have an awesome vacation! xx

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