the upside, and the other upside

in the last two days, my third job (the passion-hobby-thingy) has been really super busy. happy clients very pleased with me.  and i love doing the work, so it’s win-win. also extra money which is bonus, and more repeat clients, which is also great.

but it’s also super hard work. my regular day job uses my brain and my big mouth, whereas this hobby is like a ‘trade’, it’s physical work. i have to go out and buy supplies, i have to source vendors, i have to do work with my hands. make stuff.  it’s a completely different kind of labor and it uses different muscles — literally and figuratively.

the upside, a tired body is easy to fix … hot bath, go to bed.

the upside, working with my hands means my brain is free for listening to podcasts (my favorites still are This American Life (NPR) and Q (CBC)).

the upside, i’m learning new skills, actually creating things.

the downside, physical labor is hard work, no two ways about it. i have to remember to take a break and stand, sit, walk around, stretch, put my feet up, shake it out. or i get cramped and nearly fall over.

the downside, some nights i really really need to sleep right now because of an early a.m. deadline, and that means early to bed on friday nights. like yesterday, after a 14 hour day, i was in bed by 9:30 pm to try to be ready for my long day today. today went well. i’m exhausted, all work delivered on time, everyone is happy. and i’m beyond tired.

the downside, being ‘beyond tired’ is on the short list of things to avoid … it makes champagne look like a reasonable thing that reasonable people would do in this exact same situation.  of course, i’m not reasonable. so we won’t even go there. i’m drinking tonic and lemon instead.

the biggest upside, though, is that when this hobby/passion started to really take off and be successful back in March, i had to quit drinking for 5 days straight to make it through a big client job (cuz this is all in addition to my regular job).  i knew then that to deliver the kind of physical work required, i would not be able to drink at all. i remember i had one all-night shift, and celebrated by having a bath in the morning with a cup of tea before crawling into bed at 9 am.

now i realize that this passion — the physical work it requires, the sacrifices in time — it is what led me to KNOW that i had to quit drinking (eventually) for good.  There just wasn’t room in my life for passion and booze.  i knew that booze had to go, even then, even back in March (4 months before i actually quit). there was never any question about not pursuing the passion once it got hold of me.

and now, today, i’m tired, happy, making money, taking good care of others, my husband and myself. and i’m sober.

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

2 thoughts on “the upside, and the other upside

  1. No room for both passion and booze. Amen to that. It’s amazing how much more engergy I have without alcohol. It’s easy to forget that alcohol isn’t just bad for our minds but for our bodies. Take care!

Leave a Reply