i’m curious, part 2

I did this about a month ago but I want to do it again.

I’m really interested and curious in sober blogging and i know that i read and lurked on blogs for quite a while before I quit drinking.  Personally, I was reading while still drinking because I was looking for ideas and motivation and i really wanted PROOF that it would be OK to quit, that i’d survive, that i’d be successful, and that someone else would come up with good ideas when I ran out.

This blogging community really does have all that, and then some.

So here’s what i’m curious about. Can you do me a favor?

  1. Post a comment with your number of days sober.
  2. If you are an anonymous lurker, and you’re sober, you can just put Sober as your name, and then use a fake email as your email address (12345@12345.com) – tell me how many days sober. You can remain anonymous of course.
  3. If you are a lurker, and you aren’t (yet) sober but you’re looking for inspiration, you can put Hoping as your name (or whatever), and use my email as your email address (12345@12345.com). And you can pick a date when you’d like to start your sober journey (i.e. in 5 days, or on october 1st, or whatever). You can remain anonymous, too.

I also sometimes forget how far along in the sober journey some of you are … so this will help me remember and help me celebrate with you.

I know Mrs D is one year sober.  Hooray Hooray for her and her support and her genius!

Really, if you’re an anonymous lurker that’s totally fine! Just chime in with where you are : )

PS/ HERE’S MY GUT REFLEX: I have no proof of this and am only going on a gut feeling here, but if you are a lurker and still drinking, then by posting something anonymously, it’s like raising your hand and saying “ok, yes, i could use some support” and i think that makes a big difference in what happens next for you.  Well, if you don’t believe me, you can try posting something and see what happens : )

PPS/ I hope to hear from “Hoping!!!” who posted last time …

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I’m tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

34 thoughts to “i’m curious, part 2”

  1. I’ll begin … Today is Day 69. for about 10 days now i haven’t felt like drinking at all. I have momentary thoughts, fleeing ideas, that say “i could have a drink now” but they’re very brief and non-meaningful and don’t make me want to take action. they’re just thoughts flying by with no punch. i wave as they pass by. see ya.

  2. I sobered up in March 2007 and haven’t had anything to drink since then. I often get emails from people wanting to quit and the support does make a difference.

    The best time to stop is right now, but for some it takes a while longer to let go and ask for support.

  3. I’ve been sober for 137 days (had to look at my counter app as I’ve switched to “months” recently!) I read sober blogs and books frequently to keep myself honest, but I didn’t start reading them until after I quit. I plan to keep this up (the reading and the sobriety) for the rest of my life. I quit drinking for 100 days in 2008, but I stopped reading and slipped quietly, then loudly, back into drinking for another 4 years.

  4. I had to use a sober counter but I’m 974 days sober (I also had to check my wrist where I have my sober date tattooed)! What a wonderful number.

    I didn’t find the blogs until I was sober but before that I watched Intervention religiously just so I could say, “that God I’m not that bad”. I may not have been that bad but I was still an alcoholic…just took me a while to figure it out.

    Sherry

  5. 4 days today for me, not with alcohol, but with pills. I am just so tired of this routine. Planning my day around pills. I have such great respect for those that have recovered and hope for those that need a little more time. You’ll do great.

  6. 20 days sober today : ) I’ve been trying since June, but had a couple lapses. I really find sober blogging very helpful. It helps me feel less alone in this battle. None of my friends and family really “get” why I have to quit drinking…why I can’t moderate. My mom told me I needed to pray more. If only it were that simple!

  7. 12 days sober, but not my first time at the rodeo. In past 7 years, my longest period of sobriety was 3.5 years and I haven’t put together a year since. I seem to start feeling better, tell myself I wasn’t really that bad, and of course, I can drink moderately since I always do everything else in my life so sensibly.

    It just gets worse every time. Going from a glass or 2 of wine to a pint of vodka before that glass of wine happens so quickly. Getting stuck in that loop of the morning shame and determination to stop which inevitably erodes by late afternoon into thinking that I can have one vodka and cranberry juice to “take the edge off” until the dinner wine. That is the drink that turns the switch to “it’s ON”. Day after day.

    And the world gets smaller and smaller as my mind is taken over by the obsession to drink/not drink. The only relief being to drink. But, here on day 12, I hope by just writing it down, as you suggest, it can become a deeper kind of commitment to the knowing and remembering of these facts.

    1. Thanks for this Sober again … good to hear of your 12 days sober. I know very well that feeling of the world getting smaller and the craving to drink getting louder. i think we all do (unfortunately). and then, somehow, if you stick with it, the noise gets softer and quieter. for me it was blogging for 60 days straight. and trying to find lessons and realizations in everything. the payoff (for me) was that i felt less gray and confined by day 34, and then significantly better just before day 60. of course i will have other crummy days ahead, but it’s starting to feel possible. I think that by writing it down, you’ll begin to see that you really want this. and sometimes you’ll be able to go back and read your own text and re-convince yourself … (over and over!). glad you’re here. post often : )

    2. I’m at 8 days, and about a decade ago I quite for 3 years, not a problem. Then I started again and here I am at 8 days. If I’d been smart, I’d be at 13 years (or somewhere around there) right now. We can do this!!!!

  8. 4 days. : ) Haven’t been past two in two years. I read your first entry five days ago while drinking my [one] last glass of cheap Chardonnay. The parellels between your “drinking story” and mine are SOO similar and I thoroughly enjoy your writing style. Many thanks to you, Belle. : )

    1. 4 days! your new personal best in 2 years! well that’s certainly something to celebrate : ) I bet it’s beginning to seem possible now. Like, hey, maybe i can do this. And maybe you’re doing it already … Welcome Sarah! there is much support for you here. check in often. : )

  9. Still trying for “day one” (Heroin) I read all of these sober blogs because addiction is addiction, and there aren’t many (one?) written by ex Heroin addicts. Sometimes I feel as though I have no right to comment whilst still using, but since you asked . . .
    I’m inspired by the strength all of you people have and the courage to keep on fighting each day. I’ll keep reading and praying . . . and I’ll keep trying.

  10. Hi Belle. Absolutely love reading your blog. As Sarah above commented, I also find your story is so similar to mine. Always thought I was ok because I wasn’t the stereotypical drunk who got aggressive, passed out, got sick etc etc. Just the chardonnay.. Night after night. Your blog has been very inspiring and motivational. I am also reading an excellent book called ‘drinking a love story’ by Caroline Knapp and can highly recommend it. I am still In early days..day 13. But it’s the longest ever.. Since about 20 (I am now 46). Please don’t stop writing, it helps all of us (and hopefully continues to help you). You are doing a great job.

  11. Thanks for asking about me Belle – I “lurk” on your site daily and many others. I’m so glad to have found all of you! I made it 20 days – the first week/weekend was great mood-wise but I started to feel just really bitchy after that. Hubby had a couple of really drunk evenings and he was driving me crazy with how loud & obnoxious he got. Then the little voice in my head told me that he hadn’t changed – he was probably being the same person, it was just me, sitting on my high horse judging him. Maybe I just needed to relax!? I told myself how good I’d been (20 days – holy crap, me??) and that it was ok to have a couple because it was a holiday weekend/special occasion/needed to “connect” with hubby again!? Two days of overindulging over Labor Day left me feeling like crap, looking like crap, and took me right back to feeling that same self-loathing, embarraasment, and guilt that I felt after most weekends in the past. Sorry to ramble…struggling, but still hoping and still lurking!!!! Congrats to you on 69 days – bells, whistles, and lots of hoots!!!

  12. I just read what I wrote above. I was right.. I don’t get aggressive (just heatedly debate/argue on subjects I know nothing about) I don’t pass out – just fall asleep in the middle of a party that I am hosting in my own home. I definitely don’t get sick – when I vomited after Australia Day party 2012, I am sure it must have been the food…. Hmmm….. Sometimes the truth is hard to see, even when it’s right there in front of us (or maybe until you write it down for others to see?!).

  13. 55 days sober! First comment EVER! You write, we read……and we keep each other company on this sober journey. Thank you for sharing. It’s an easier path now I have found such good company. 🙂

  14. 4,359 days. Or, 11.93 years.

    I know that number seems ridiculous to many a newcomer, but I can assure you, I was a fringe player for a lot of years. I bounced in and out of recovery for 10 years until I finally put an end to the madness.

    I’m glad you’re still around, Belle. Our community needs you.

  15. Wow, I just read all the comments, and the big numbers, so exciting, and so scary at the same time! I’m only at 8 days (for the kabillionth time) and I’m struggling like hell not to give in when the shit hits the fan around here, but you guys are such an inspiration and I know deep inside that change is scary as hell, but the benefits *far* outweigh the ‘safety’ of being drunk. I love you guys!

    1. Sober
      Day 11 today. I have been following lots of blogs and whilst I have stopped before for a few weeks here and there, this time I feel much calmer and more accepting that life sober can actually still be rich and full of fun. I can picture this for myself because you have all lit the way for me. For this I thank you all. It makes such a difference.

  16. Hi Belle,

    I can say now that I’m on day 1, I’ve been following your blog (and others) for a few months now for motivation and it’s working. I was just scared that’s all.

    Overndout

  17. 3.
    Thanks for sharing. You didn’t make up my mind, but you did push me off of the fence in a moment of weakness. You’re making a difference. Thank you.

  18. Reading your journey. Day 2. I have a vacation coming up, with family. I’m too ashamed to say I’m not drinking, which is to say, I’m too ashamed to say I’ve lost control of my drinking. Which means I will drink. With any luck, I’ll keep to a responsible 2-3 a day, and begin again when I’m back.

  19. Started reading your journey a few days ago and am hooked. I’m on day 9 and going through headaches, tiredness, aches but so far no real desire to drink again. Thank you for writing about this.. I can’t tell you how much it helps

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