60 days

Who would have thought that I’d arrive here.  60 Days today.

When I quit drinking on July 1st, i knew i wanted to be sober for 30 days, but beyond that I knew very little, and i struggled a lot. I didn’t sneak a drink or relapse, but i definitely struggled a lot with my thinking.  Thankfully that tumbling of ideas and words and anxiety about “not drinking” has stopped, and not a moment too soon.

I have a reward planned for today, i’m going to buy some fancy hand cream that smells like ginger (that when i used a sample, i kept sniffing my hands for hours).

I had planned to blog every day for the first 60 days as a way of holding myself accountable.  Mission accomplished : ) I’ll probably still blog lots, just not daily.  We’re heading on vacation this weekend (finally) and i won’t be writing then.

As well, starting September 1st, i’m adding a new layer to this recovery journey, and i’m tackling a project that has been on my to-do list for 18 months.

I’ve been looking ahead to September and part of me is quite happy to be getting back into my regular routine.  I like autumn, the cooler temperatures, the ‘new beginnings’. The leaves don’t change colors here like they do at home. They just turn brown and fall down all at once in a big wind. Lots are down already. But before I get too day-dreamy about September, first there’s the BEACH vacation, starting on FRIDAY, that’s 2 more sleeps! i do love vacations (when my husband is off work at the same time as me).

In closing, I wanted to share with you some of the best (and worst) search engine terms that have brought people to my blog over the last 6o days.  How fun!

  • does your metabolism change if you stop drinking wine
  • why sabotage a spouse’s sobriety
  • why can’t i sleep well after drinking red wine
  • swarming thoughts of you
  • ode to red wine
  • wouldn’t say shit if he had a mouthful
  • why are you tired when you stop drinking booze
  • big anuses
  • chinese chocolate swiss roll
  • first day sober from alcohol
  • advil and alcohol
  • 60 days without a drink and i am resentful and want a drink
  • allen carr vs. jason vale
  • sadness
  • belle’s tired of drinking blog

And YES … the answer to the question is YES.  Yes, I will be sober after today. I will continue to not-drink, even if I don’t blog every day. 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

23 thoughts to “60 days”

  1. AWESOME!!! And huge congrats on 60 days. That is friggin awesome. Friggin. Now there’s a word. Seriously though, such big ups to you my friend. Hope you enjoy your well deserved holiday and your lovely lush hand cream. I still can’t decide on my one year treat. I’m thinking maybe a new pair of earrings or a new cardigan. Maybe both. Anyway… sending love. Thanks for all your sharing (to use a well worn blogging phrase), and take care. xxxx

    1. i vote for earrings and a cardigan and something else. It’s a year after all. Oh, and cake. cake. cake. Swiss Chocolate Roll Cake. thanks for being there for me, and for lighting the way …

  2. Hey Belle, congratulations on achieving your goals. You’ve been an inspiration to so many, you should be very proud of your contribution to the sobersphere. A blog a day is a huge effort and the way you’ve articulated the questions and issues will help many others. Have a great holiday, and remember to pack your boot for when the wolf opens its mouth, but don’t worry about it until it does. Take care, Paul.

    1. isn’t it cool that now YOU’RE an inspiration to new people starting out, too. like right now, there’s probably someone lurking on your site who’s thinking “i’m just like this guy, and if he can do it so can i.” thanks for being an example to everyone, and for lending a male voice to temper all of the wacky female hormones floating around here in the sobersphere.

  3. O wow – you are here already!! Its has been such a pleasure following your 60 days – how often was I thinking exactly the same as you?! You have really been a fantastic part of this little blog world. I hope your holiday is just fab. And look forward to hearing about it in the future. take care my friend. I will miss your daily reports but you know what they say about absence – so I will appreicate your less frequent reports even more. Love and hugs Cleo xx

  4. Congratulations on shattering your goals in the face of tremendous adversity. May you always remember your strength, perseverance, dedication and awesomeness. You are moving your own mountains (see my current posting & Seuss poem) and you are helping countless others do the same. Never forget how strong you are.

  5. Hi Belle

    I love ginger handcream. I have some on right now and it’s calming me down after locking my keys in the car when I dropped off my kids at my ex’s house and was 30 minutes late for work! Part of me wants a drink so bad. I feel my anxieties creeping up on me.

    I am gonna admit that I’m going to miss your daily posts. They are so well written and helps me on a daily basis.

    I do hope you have a great vacation You are my rock
    Jen

    1. oh god, locking your keys in the car, is there anything more stressful! and yet, here you are, living sober. stress is no match for jen today : ) and i won’t be far away, i’ll be back to my desk next tuesday (after labor day), and will blog allll about the beach and the sun and the movies and the food. and i might even have pictures of my toes enjoying the sand. you can still email me every day, even when i’m on vacation. i’ll read them all when i get back : )

  6. Congrats and yes, I too will miss your daily blogs. It really has been you and all the other amazing people in the sobersphere making sobriety easier for me too. 17 days and counting! Oh, and does your metabolism change when you stop drinking wine? 🙂 I’m not seeing it yet, but waiting and hoping!!!!

  7. *throws confetti and glitter* Whooooooot!!! Congrats!!!!!

    And this, “The leaves don’t change colors here like they do at home. They just turn brown and fall down all at once in a big wind.”…same here. 🙁 But I can feel fall in the morning air and that makes me all manner of happy!!!

  8. LOL! Not sure if my band name should be Chinese Chocolate Swiss Roll or Swarming Thoughts of You. Both are amazing. Definitely not going with Big Anuses.

    Congratulations on 60 days. You are also amazing.

  9. Belated HURRAH to you! Through the dips and troughs you’ve motored on. Love that you’ve shared it all here with everyone.
    You’ve had an epic journey. Enjoy your holiday!
    xo

  10. A couple of?s that dont really relate to this post but i need advice. Heres the deal: i drink way too much. Its affecting my life in very negative ways. Ive tried to quit many many times only to relapse agin and again. The hubby drinks and while he would support my quitting, he will continue drinking and there will be booze in our house. i would have to deal with that. Ive been lurking around your blog. I need to quit but due to past failures, i simply dont think i can do it! One of my biggest hurdles is how to let my shoulders down when i get home from work without a big glass of wine. Typically, the wine signals the end of my stressful workday and the beginning of the relaxing evening. Of course, several glasses later, im in front of the tv where ill stay until i stumble down the hall to bed. I just dont want make yet another commitment to quit only to fail…again. Your advice would be appreciated.

    1. Hi Lora. I felt compelled to reply to you. I have had a few sober times (5 months, 20months, 45 days just this past summer). I am now on Day 4. Don’t give up. The fact that you want to try again is great. We only fail when we stop trying right? As for how to unwind, I’ve taken to walking – a lot. If you walk during the time you usually would have a glass of wine, it might just shift your routine enough to help you get over the witching hour. My husband still has a drink after work, literally ‘a drink’ and now it’s okay with me and if it’s not I just go to another room- not in a huff, just to not see it. Also, reading the blogs during the witching hour has helped me. I’m still new to ‘replying’ in this blogging world, but it is so reassuring to know we are not alone. Good luck today 🙂

      1. Thanks for the encouragement. I think I may give walking a try. My dogs would be happy to join me and burning calories vs consuming them seems like another positive. sounds like a win win. Thanks again.

  11. Well, I’m back at Day 1 again. Kind of frustrating, but trying to take my own advice – failing is giving up. Kind of scared to ‘start again’, but I’m halfway through today, so that’s good.

  12. I just completed 60 days. I feel good about the accompolishment. Yet,
    My mind still circumvents around thoughts of drinking. When does this let go?
    I started this challenge as to see if I could break a habit and cut down on my wine
    Consumption . I do everything fast . I now drink loads of water, seltzer , and tea.
    If I just had two glasses of wine a night ,I would be happy, but I finish a bottle and
    Sometime 1 1/2.
    I am 64 and retired. Life is good. I am now heading for 100 days.
    I feel good about not drinking because I am a role model for my 5 children.
    My goal is to have an occasional glass of wine .
    We shall see!

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