i do not drink

i do not drink

even when a lovely guest is coming for dinner tonight, and there’ll just be the three of us, and he’s bringing wine to ‘share’

i do not drink

not even to be social, not even to say ‘thanks for bringing wine’ (i asked him to bring tonic water, too)

i do not drink

even though i’m grumpy and have been feeling out of sorts for a couple of days

this is not the beginning of the end, it’s just a bump in the road

i do not drink

day 42 today and sometimes it just feels like a lot of work to keep the wheels on this train …

i do not drink

 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

9 thoughts on “i do not drink

  1. Congratulations!

    Day 42….amazing!!!

    Be proud of saying “I do not drink!”. Lots of work but sooooooooo worth it, isn’t it?

    Xo
    Jen

  2. Hang in there, lovely. You’ve put in a lot of work to keep those wheels rolling for the last 42 days (hooray!). Try to relax and go with the momentum you’ve established and that should let you roll through the evening, sober and strong because YOU ARE a strong, sober, kick-arse, intuitive, intelligent woman.
    Love and hugs to you xo

  3. thanks for this Jen and Imogen, it was JUST what i needed! Our guest was curious as to why i wasn’t drinking, and i told him i’d given it up for 3 months … that i’d started with a month but then decided to extend it longer. we talked about reducing calories for weight loss reasons, and how i’ve increased running on this vacation … and all that seems like good coping strategies, in that i’ve gained some weight. i didn’t need to offer more of an explanation than “i’m watching my calories, and when i have one glass of wine i want three, so i’ve found it’s easier to have none.” for now, that seems both attention-deflecting, and honest. he said “three months is a long time” and i said i wasn’t missing it too much. and then i cracked open my bottle of tonic water…

  4. thank goodness for tonic, and ginger, and all other bubbly things! Your wheels are on tight, its just hard to believe it sometimes because they move so fast and have to carry heavy loads (figuratively!!) And, we must have shared a brain for a bit today, because I’ve been thinking of the little engine that could!

  5. Yes, it can be hard as hell some days. It is worth it tho, you and I are living proof of it, Belle. Hang in there, honey. One day, one hour one moment at a time some times. Take a walk, meditate, yoga works for me often, napping is my first love when I’m feeling out of sorts. Perhaps writing helps you. I play Picket Frogs when I feel really tense…

  6. Oops, that’s POcket Frogs.

    Your reactions and responses to your guest were spot on, Belle. You need only tell as much as you want told in any given situation. Sometimes a smile and a thanks is all that’s necessary. I am so inspired by your success.

  7. When people ask me why I don’t want to drink, I say because I’m training for a marathon and I can’t run if I drink! Most of them back off right away…most of them…lol
    I don’t think it’s important to let people know I’m a drunk and can’t handle booze at this point in my life.
    My close friends understand and that’s all that’s important!

    Xo
    Jen

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