i’m curious

i know there are lots of people reading sober blogs, and there are tons of people who — like me — were reading sober blogs even before they were sober. Personally, I was reading while still drinking because I was looking for ideas and motivation.  I wanted to get a sense that it would be OK to be sober.  I found out very soon that it would not only be OK, but that it would be BETTER …

I can see that my blog is getting lots of views and i’m wondering who you all are.

So here’s what i’m curious about. Can you do me a favor?

  1. Post a comment with your number of days sober.
  2. If you are an anonymous lurker, and you’re sober, you can just put Sober as your name, and then use a fake email as your email address (12345@12345.com) – tell me how many days sober. You can remain anonymous of course.
  3. If you are a lurker, and you aren’t (yet) sober but you’re looking for inspiration, you can put Hoping as your name (or whatever), and use my email as your email address (12345@12345.com). And you can pick a date when you’d like to start your sober journey (i.e. in 5 days, or on Aug 20, or whatever). You can remain anonymous, too.

I also sometimes forget how far along in the sober journey some of you are … so this will help me get a better idea.

Really, anonymous lurker is totally fine! Just chime in with where you are : )

 

 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

54 thoughts to “i’m curious”

    1. I drink too much almost every single weekend (this last one was the worst in a really long time)! Sundays/Mondays are spent in mental/physical agony obsessing over what I did/said/spent/consumed, etc. I read all these amazing sober blogs and I feel inspired for a few days, but I’m right back at it on Friday. I’m 41 freakin’ years old and it’s time to STOP this shit!! I’m hoping to call September a sober one. I love your blog and you should be incredibly proud of every day you’re sober!

      1. dear hoping!!!!, i also read the sober blogs and then kept drinking. honestly the turning point for me was that I picked a date to stop. i drank right up till that date, and right near the end i didn’t even like the wine, i was just drinking because i said i would. The first 8-9-10 days are up and down, then it starts to level out. Things get better quickly after that. If you want to start September 1st, we’re here to help cheer you on. I will call you Hopingx4 (for the four exclamation marks!) Keep in touch : ) ~Belle

      1. you can’t quit drinking in advance 🙂 you can email on day 1 on the 100 day challenge page, or email me if you’d like a sober penpal. hugs

    1. anonymous, we’ve all been there. Three days feels like it’s possible, then around day 6-7-8 you think “I can’t do this any more” and then suddenly you can … Check back in and tell us how you’re doing. Are you on Day 4 today? ~Belle

      1. I am on Day 4 today and just came in from my run. Would you believe that this drinker WORKS at a running store? Ha!

  1. Day 8! Second time on day 8 and it’s certainly better this time. I wish i’d read sober blogs before i stopped but i did everything backwards. Doh.

    Well done to you on day 39, that is really awesome you’ve come so far. (Isn’t it funny how we congratulate and cheer each other on for not drinking poison!) : )

    Love to you today x

  2. 75 days. had not even realised that myself. funny I woke up with the hangover from hell 75 days ago (again, one too many) and deperately wanted this to stop. found Mrs D and others (lucky, lucky me) and decided THEN to stop. Never even considered not drinking as an option before. how weird is that? I honestly did not think “normal” people stopped. Only those lying homeless in the gutter stopped. talk of brainwashed.

    1. Dear C, I love that you chimed in here with Day 1. Every single person here has had that experience of starting again. This time, you’re here, you’re reading blogs and you’re chatting with us! Reach out more, there is lots of genius here in the blogs. ~Belle

    1. you rock. and that you’re reading my blog is even stranger/cooler. My first idea is “what does someone who’s 24 years sober need to learn from me?” My next idea is “cool, who is this Nuala, and what can I learn from her. Please chime in occasionally with your brilliance. Glad you’re here : ) ~Belle

      1. Thanks for saying I rock, I learn something new about this wonderful life every single day and I love to read about your progress. I need to read the sober blogs as well as go to the live show (meetings) as I still struggle with life sometimes and I love the feeling of belonging I have with other people in sobriety. I admire you for blogging. I wish I could. I was one year soberr when my son was diagnosed with autism and mental handicap so I HAD to keep going so he could have his needs met but somewhere along the journey it changed and i HAD to keep going because life was so much better being a sober woman. I’m glad you are here too Belle : )

  3. I just celebrated 15 months on the 6th of this month. So what is that? 365+92? So 457 days I guess. I stopped counting days when I got to 90 days, and honestly, if I didn’t have a reminder pop up on my phone to remind me of my “monthly sober anniversary” date, I may not remember it until after the fact. I think that started around the 6 month mark?
    The 60 day mark was the hardest for me to reach and it took me several tries. Once I hit 60, I haven’t had to start over. But truly it is one day at a time, sometimes one hour, one minute, one breath, one choice at a time.

    1. On my run today, i reflected on what you said here. About day 60 being hard and it requiring several times. It was like a perfectly timed warning for me. Day 40 today and i need to know where the speedbumps are IN ADVANCE and you’re just the one to point them out. thanks and thanks again.

      1. Yeah, keep your eyes open girlfriend. I remember I’d get really happy and comfy around the 30 dayish mark, and then I’d get a little over confident, and then something would happen that would trigger me back into a drinking response. So, stay happy, but stay vigilant and see your triggers (if possible) before they happen and try to avoid them. If you get “crazie” feeling, CALL SOMEONE, or post an SOS here on your blog- someone will remind you that “This too shall pass, and you do not have to drink today.”
        And heads up, but around the 90 day mark my “pink cloud” faded. It’s not a horrible thing, but I think that’s when it all soaked in that, “hey, drinking is no longer an option for me. I need to accept- at my very core- that I can never drink again.” And I think I was a little sad over that. There was a part of me that had always kept that door open, an escape route if you will, and at 90 days(ish), I accepted the fact that I had closed that door forever.
        Of course your timing may be different, as we all are, but I just wanted to throw out a few things to be on the look-out for. I’m sure other folks have some of their own red flags/heads-up they can share too- may make an interesting post?
        Lots of love… RoS

  4. day 7 for the umpteenth time, not one to give up trying. PB [in runners terms] nearly 11 years mid 95 to xmas 06. .. . on and off the booze for the past 5 or 6 years including an 18 month dry spell. It’s woth noting that I find the cyber-commeraderie helpful. Also worth noting lots of us #xa drunks find solice in running/exercise. As for the “hopefuls” . .. you’ve nothing to loose, good luch

    1. I read something on a blog earlier this week, words from a song:
      “there’s no such thing as a failure that keeps trying”.
      Words very close to my heart. I’ve done six months before and I’m starting all over again….

    2. day 7 … you are persevering, that’s for sure! can you share what’s DIFFERENT this time, what makes this period of sobriety different? something you’re trying / doing differently, something about how you feel … meetings or blogging or reading … what’s different this time? Please share : ) ~Belle

  5. 338 days, 10 hours and 3 minutes. Just had to go to the online sobriety calendar. I also stopped counting days when I got to 90 but I am really really really looking forward to the 6th of September – One Year Baby!!!!

  6. 8 days…..but only with the support of my blogmmunity (blog+community)!

    what a great idea Belle, I was all smiles by the time I got down here to put in my comment. We have so much potential to help each other, no matter how many tries it takes!

    1. me too suzy, i’ve been so excited to see these comments come in. I love that we can have 24 years and 1 day in the same space, and still learn from each other. I also only stayed sober because i started to blog on day 7 ish right when i started to panic that i was going to fail.

  7. I’m a tad late, just catching up on your blog here.
    I’m no days sober but tomorrow is going to be day 1 for me. I’m reading for inspiration and ideas on how to fill the drinking hours. The thing that I wonder the most is when does it begin to be easy/feel good not to drink? I’m the wino that has hit her personal bottom.

    1. overndout, welcome to our corner of the sober world. Make sure you have lots of fizzy drinks and snacks on hand (i love ginger ale and tonic water and cranberry juice). when does it feel good? almost immediately. some parts of the day you may have cravings, but once you make the decision you feel a whole lot better really quickly. some days have more moments, but within 3-10 days you’ll be sleeping like before, and having more energy… when you do stop thinking about it so much? i’ve heard that after 90 days is pretty magical (i’m on day 45). i felt improved pretty quickly and then MUCH better after 30 days. You may do even better, can’t wait to hear about how you do. will you be blogging? if so, let us know where to find you so we can cheer you on. or just post here : ) let me tomorrow that you’re underway : ) ~hugs, Belle

      1. Thanks so much Belle. I appreciate your help, actually a lot. I thought about blogging but I’m feeling a bit shy about it. My plans are to have cranberry with soda and lots of water. Have a book to read, because I can’t read if I’ve been drinking and I used to read a lot. Start a beginner walking/running program. I’m looking forward to losing some weight because I’m downing about 750 calories of wine a night. I’m going to put the money I would have spent on wine away every day I don’t drink because I need to have some kind of instant gratification. I need to see it amounting to something. I’m doing this all quietly, without DH and friends in the loop. I’ve only told one good friend who understands. It’s a sore spot with DH (rarely drinks) . I just want to do it quietly.

      2. you’re very welcome. feel free to reach out, too, by email: tiredofdrinking@gmail.com When i first started, i gave myself a $3 reward treat every two days. Like a new box of tea, or a pint of blueberries, or a mango, or a new turquoise ink pen. whatever. after about 10 days i lost track and forgot to reward myself, so i figured that was a good sign. but in the beginning i really needed to have some ‘treat’ to look forward to. My only other advice would be to not take on or try to do too much right at first. Being distracted and busy is good, but being overwhelmed will be too hard. I ate plenty of starchy take out to start. And I slept. A lot…

  8. 1150 days ( a little over 3 years and 2 months). The app I have keeps track of the days and I am a miracle! I am cheering for you as well

  9. Day 11 booze. Day 3 cigs. I have found a ton of inspiration from the blogs that I stalk 🙂 I am not sure if I have commited to forever, but am trying 90 days. Feeling great on day 11.

  10. Day 23. I’ve just discovered your blog and am reading it from the oldest posts to the most recent. This is where I’ve reached (and I don’t know if anyone will see this comment!)
    Feeling good, and I guess it’s ‘pink cloud’ time. I know this can’t last forever (but I’m hopeful it might be).
    I’ve tried to quit on and off, never more than 12 weeks or so at a time.
    This time feels different though 🙂
    Looking forward to reading the rest of your blog.
    Thanks!

    1. I see you : ) congrats on day 23. when it’s ‘different’ you know it … and sounds like you do! reading blogs is so cool, and so helpful! thanks for reading mine! keep me posted on how you’re doing as you go along. all best, belle

      1. Sheesh, that was quick! Thanks for the reply. I’m reading everything I can about the whole sober thing. I have done on and off for years (since I first realised i had a bit of a problem, way back in 2005.) It’s been on and off over the years. My worst days are well behind me thank goodness (around 2005-06) but I got to the stage recently where I just had to get off the merry-go-round. Moderate drinking is fine, but there’s that low level depression and sense of pointlessness and anxiety that is so exacerbated by more alcohol, used to self-medicate those very feelings that it’s creating. Sick of it and ready, at 35, to close the book on the drinking part of my life and Start Again. I feel so young and alive. Really hope it lasts.
        By the way, I’m blogging over at a site called Hello Sunday Morning, which is an Australian initiative to get people to take a break and question their relationship with alcohol. Intended mainly for young people, i notice a lot of older people (30s plus, and a lot of parents, retirees – all ages, etc) who know they want to say goodbye to alcohol for good. The site is going through a transition due to new web design, with some features missing, but if you’re interested, my profile is at http://www.hellosundaymorning.com/betty
        Looking forward to finishing reading your old posts (i can see a few more late nights ahead – not that i mind, i’m so obsessive when I get stuck into things like this!)
        All the best,
        Betty x

      2. If I was you, I’d read only a bit at a time and make it last : ) Like, set a timer and then you’ve got something to look forward to tomorrow! don’t burn out on all the goodness all at once! (and hey, you may really really need inspiration tomorrow, you never know.) thanks for the links to the aussie site, I’ll check it out : )

  11. Cheers for the sensible advice – I really do need to stop staying up till 1am or later reading stuff online! I’m really happy to have found this site and made contact with you this evening. Looking forward to being part of the blogmmunity (as someone called it earlier. ha!) and can see it’s gonna be another great tool for my old kit bag. Ain’t the interwebs grand? 😉 B x

  12. Dear Belle, just stumbled across your blog and it is just what I need today. I’m on Day 2, heavy drinker for nearly 20 years, and have tried to quit a few times now but never make it past 30 days. My “Wolfie” is a giant and scary one. I am highly functioning but with an addictive personality (the only time I didn’t drink was for a few years in my late teens when I partied hard on other substances during the rave scene of the ’90’s). I too want so very badly to just not THINK about it anymore. I’ve been lurking on sobriety blogs over the past year. I appreciate yours greatly, you are an inspiration and your raw honesty is something we can all relate to, which really helps.

  13. I’m waaay late here, I know but here goes- Day Nine. I’ve been drinking since 1988(ish) I haven’t gone more than a few days without a drink and then only a few times- the flu a couple of times, a terrible chest cold and once when I was on a five day spiritual retreat in Sedona, Arizona. But even there I still managed to get two drinks in. On outings we took as a group. The hosts of the retreat definitely judged me and made it be known that they highly suspected me to be an alcoholic. I, in turn, judged them back. I judged them to be not very non-judgmental spiritual retreat hosts. (Earlier, they also made me turn down my Gordon Lightfoot music- which I was listening to on *headphones* in the car as we were driving into the Grand Canyon. That pissed me off pretty good too. Lightfoot…on headphones…it’s not like he’s got blistering, metal guitar solos and a screaming vocal style) Anyway- the Sedona retreat was my last “longest stretch” and that was about eight years ago. I’ve had single days within a given week when I’ve abstained- not very often but they have happened. I usually drink between 3 and 7 drinks a day. Technically, 3 to 7 drinks a night, with the average being somewhere around 4 or 5.
    Nine days in- the feeling of well being I am experiencing is indescribable. Almost immediately my sleep pattern was fixed. Healed. A non-issue, that which has been an issue for my entire life. Just this very day, I noticed the bags under my eyes are gone (whaaat?)! I’ve had those all my life too. My skin looks clearer and I get these fantastic little shooting bursts of feeling good in my soul that come out of nowhere. I’m not saying it’s all been a cake-walk- it hasn’t (but I have been shoving sugar free chocolate cupcakes up in my pie-hole at an alarming rate). Your blog and Unpickled’s blog and Byebyebeer’s blog have been such an inspiration and help to me. Someone in an earlier post mentioned wondering what to do during the drinking hours- I read sober blogs and then go to bed- because my ass is ti-red at 10:00p these days! Anyway, I wanted to take this moment to acknowledge my gratitude and appreciation for the things that *have* been easy and good about this process because I hope more like that will continue to present to me. I’m thinking of starting my own blog- in fact the first paragraph of this post was taken from my first draft of what may become my first blog post. Still rolling it around in my head but wanted to finally chime in here- where I’ve been lurking for 9 days and feeling so grateful for you and all of the others who came before me. Thank you, Belle.

  14. 13 days. when I read your blog, it’s like I’m inside my own head. I love it and am working my way thru the whole thing. I’ll be starting a blog as soon as I get home to my own home and computer. thank you for inspiring me so much. I’ve been attending AA for the past two weeks, but i relate to your blog and story more closely. Thanks so much.

    there… no longer a lurker 😉

  15. 2 days. And I just started my own sober blog after being so inspired by your writing and journey. I’m not sure of the depth of my problem but I’m concerned about my drinking. The thought of being consciously sober for 30 days freaks me out and seems like a good sign that I might have a problem. So here I am. With so much gratitude for you and so many others already being here.

  16. Day 2- almost 48 full hours of sobriety. Have had it in the past and really believed (okay, wanted), to moderate. What is the point of moderating?! Guess that’s why I’m on Day 2 again. I’m choosing to not feel like a failure ( bc I drank again), but rather a fighter bc I’m going back in the ring. So glad to be able to read this, and other, blogs. Very helpful to not feel alone 🙂

    1. I’m on day six and it’s a Saturday. Tonight I go out to dinner with my sister and 6 close girlfriends to celebrate my 50th bird day (an ode to my son who called birthdays…bird days when he was six. .. Of course he just turned 21 last month)-
      Anyway, only my best friend knows that I am not drinking. I have quit at various other times so I am hoping nobody gives it much attention. You see, in the past I let others in on my “not drinking” plans. I have found that doesn’t always work so well. For one, almost all of my family and friends drink. Now in there defense-I don’t feel they have a drinking problem . It seems we all grew up with that being the thing you do on the weekends. I should just say also, that is the only time I do drink. We’ll, that’s not EXACTLY correct. Vacations are a free for all…day drinking -evening drinking-heck, it’s all about as booze ! What I have noticed when you mention to others that you are not drinking is that it sometimes puts others on the defense even though you are not talking about “their” drinking but your own. This time I’m telling a select few and the others will figure it-sooner than later I’m sure . Of course, since I have had previous attempts at sobriety with my longest lasting 4 months- I’m sure nobody feels I will continue “forever”
      I can’t say it will last forever and I don’t want to look at it in terms of forever.
      Turning 50 lit a fire inside for positive change. I’ve got to try and am excited for the challenge!

      I received my Stay Here bracelet in the mail yesterday and it was such perfect timing for me. I know it was a sign to keep strong. By the way-I love it!

      Wish me luck with tonight. I know my girlfriends love me and want only the best for me. it’s not them I’m worried about. Temptation will abound. hopefully they will have some ginger beer-n/a type or n/a beer at the restaurant.
      Bty-what’s your take on drinking n/a beer? Or anyone’s take on it for that matter.

      thank- you so much Belle. I am so glad I found you.

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