i feel less foggy

i feel better today. i feel less foggy. i feel less preoccupied. i’ve stopped counting days in my head and have to look at my excel spreadsheet to do the math (day 34). it is sunny. i’m on vacation. my copy of the jason vale book finally arrived yesterday by mail and i’ve started reading it. i’m glad i had 30 days sober first before i got the book, because i feel like i’m already underway, on my own, and now his writing can lift me up. it’s not a struggle to believe his ideas, because i’m already living them.

was out for a walk yesterday, ran into a random friend i haven’t seen in months. joined her on a patio in the sun for a drink. I had bottled water. two of her friends joined up. everyone had a glass of wine. i had my water. I listened to what other people were saying instead of waiting for a pause so i could interject my own damn insightful wisdom.

went out for dinner last night with the hubby to our corner restaurant, we both had water.  husband has stopped drinking at home, or in front of me, and now only has a few drinks a week when he’s out with friends. no big pronouncements. he was only drinking because i was, and that’s quite a realization.

i feel as good today as i’ve felt in a long time. vacations rock (or vacations rule, depending on your continent). having a sober vacation is like having a big christmas present i’ve yet to open. can’t wait to see what’s inside.

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I’m tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

12 thoughts to “i feel less foggy”

  1. Current status is lurker…I’ve just found your blog and couldn’t stop reading. I’m hoping that I can do the same, well lets make that I will stop drinking. I just don’t want to anymore. Like you sucessful, married, no big bottom to hit, only a personal bottom. Keep the posts coming, I look forward to them.

    1. Welcome lurker : ) i like your term “personal bottom” – ain’t that the truth. first you start by picking a date to stop (like next monday) and then you stock up on ginger ale and cranberry juice and tonic water! well, that’s my personal strategies … and lots of tea … let me know when you pick your date so i can cheer you on and send you cyber hugs : )

    2. Day 13 for me and this is my first comment on your blog I did your sober jump start right before our family beach vacation. Thank you so much for being here for me. I love how you just described a sober vacation , like opening up a Christmas Present. It has been like that. During the witching hours. I make sure I’m doing something. Last nite my husband and I watched the sunset. I do have to say, this is soooo hard. I just want to go home. I’m trying to start a blog but can’t think of a name.

  2. You are right – a sober holiday – that is something to look forward to. Remembering everything, having real time to indulge thoughts as opposed to wiping them out. Who knows what treasures there may be! Well you will! Enjoy your hols! Cleo xx

    1. Dear Anonymous, you may be struggling but you’re also reading blogs and you commented : ) you’re no longer a lurker! all of us here have struggled. yes, some more than others. but in reading these blogs i’ve found a lot of support and hope. it gets soooo much better when the booze is finished …

  3. What is the Jason Vale book? Curious. I know what you mean about being a better listener. I find myself talking far less in general too. Who gives a damn what I think? hehe.

      1. That book kept me motivated to stay sober. His attitude on the issue was a breath of fresh air for me. I mailed it to a friend who had called me months earlier struggling between life and death due to alcohol. Read it if you haven’t. As he says, we can drink, but why would we want to?! Sober is sooooo much better!

  4. So good to hear that it’s becoming easier and less “front of the mind” all the time. It is a huge realization when we “get” that others who love us were drinking to be with us, not because they truly wanted to drink. Astonishing, it was for me, when I realized how many people were not drinking either. Lots more camaraderie than I anticipated before I quit.

  5. Im like you in that ive had not had the usual big consequences such as legal troubles, losing my job, etc. im so embarassed to say this but my 14 yr old daughter has commented on my drinking too much and i still havent quit. This post spoke to me because of your comment about your spouse not drinking in front of you. I think that would really help me. Dont think spouse is an alcoholic but he does like to drink. In his defense, ive asked him so many times to not drink in front of me or buy booze only to turn around 2 days later and ask him to pick up a bottle of wine. Not drinking at home is the biggest challenge for me. Im trying to find new ways to relax and de-stress. Another thing….what to drink instead? Love hot tea but it’s brutally hot here so i need something cool. By the way, yours is my favorite sober blog. 🙂 sorry for rambling.

    1. what to drink? bitter is better. tonic. grapefruit juice. homemade lemonade. and there are lots of people doing the sober challenge with partners who drink (some who drink a lot). i think the thing to do is to make a decision for yourself, that you’re going to do 100 days sober no matter what. no matter who does what. and it helps to think of booze as something that exists but that isn’t ‘for us’ … http://tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/2013/01/28/that-it-exists-doesnt-mean-i-need-to-have-it-in-me/

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