one week from today, do i drink again
i understand this is a bizarre question and i am probably setting myself up here to receive an ear-full of exasperated ranting.
but here goes.
i originally decided to not drink for the month of July, follow Dry July, 30 days without alcohol. I am on day #24 (and my keyboard now thinks it ès in portuguesÉ, how excellent”)
i have to say that i have been counting the days, probably like everyone else does when they quit. but i/ve also been counting the days until July is over.
then i think: well i kind of like this sober thing here, even though itès been hard at times …
then i think: i don/t really want to quit forever. i just wanted to stop thinking about drinking (thus the name of the blog).
god, this is a stooopid question and i can measure its stupidness by the way i feel right now, like i/m going to post this and then delete it right away.
here/s the stooopid question (ôther than how to change my keyboard back to english, even though it says itès in english it clearly isnèt!)
how dumb is it to think that i can set some rules for myself for August. Like, maybe ièll drink twice in August, two different days, no more than 2 glasses of wine each night, and ièll look ahead and decide when those days might be. is this just a form of moderation that everyone ELSE out there has tried and failed at (question mark) … am i walking right into some kind of pit (question mark). i have not really tried moderation before with any real effort. i certainly have not done it and blogged at the same time for accountability and exploration.
oh god, ièm going to delete this right now. itès pointless. the keyboard is hooped and i donèt really even know what ièm asking here. well, does anyone have an apostrophe, ièll take one of those to start. then ièd like to hear your advice. about how i should go about ending my Dry July … if you post a comment and later see that this post has been deleted, youèll know that iève changed my mind about asking this badly-formed-question …