crying seems to help

this is day 12 for me, and i’m having a weak day. i know that there will be good days and bad days.  and that bad days don’t mean that i am going to drink.  it’s still my first impulse, though. i know that sometime that will fade. but not yet.

i am having lots of things in my life that are making me sad, all on the same day. family illness, computer failure, crummy not-summery-weather. i also slept in today, perhaps too late, and so i’ve been dragging all day.

crying seemed to help. and it’s 6 pm here, european time. it’d be normal for me to have a glass of wine right now.  more than normal, it’s what i’ve always done. instead. instead i’m trying to rescue a dead computer, i’m going to roast a chicken for dinner. i’m going to drink some more tea. i’m going to have a bath. and i’m going to count on tomorrow being easier.

i’m glad i’m on day 12 and not on day 2.  but i do feel like going to bed and crawling under the covers to HIDE…

 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

11 thoughts to “crying seems to help”

  1. Just get under that duvet, have a good cry and know we are sending good thoughts your way. And tomorrow it will be Day 13 and you will be so pleased you don’t have to start Day 1 again.

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